{"id":37857,"date":"2019-10-11T15:39:26","date_gmt":"2019-10-11T19:39:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/?p=37857"},"modified":"2019-10-11T15:58:14","modified_gmt":"2019-10-11T19:58:14","slug":"7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Ways to Start Parenting More Effectively"},"content":{"rendered":"

Charles R. Swindoll says it best, \u201cEach day of our lives we make deposits in the memory bank of our children.\u201d<\/p>\n

As a parent, myself, I know there are many days where I feel exhausted and frustrated. Oftentimes, I\u2019m left wondering whether or not my parenting was effective. I am constantly questioning if my children actually listened to the things I\u2019ve said or if I\u2019ve somehow ruined everything.<\/p>\n

Then they give me an extra tight hug, squeeze my hand three times (to say I love you) or say they appreciate me \u2013 and it\u2019s those tiny moments that make it all worth it. It\u2019s those times that remind me I\u2019m pouring into them and it\u2019s working.<\/p>

\n
<\/div>\n\t
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
<\/div>\n\t
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n

But as parents, we all question our effectiveness and wonder what can we do differently? While I am no self-proclaimed parenting guru, I have learned a few things on being effective. So, I\u2019d like to offer these parenting tips to you in hopes that this insight helps you foster a happy, healthy and satisfying relationship with your child.<\/p>\n

Lift Up Your Child\u2019s Self-Esteem<\/h2>\n

If you were to open my purse you would find Target + Starbucks receipts, super random objects and gold star stickers. Why gold stars, you ask? Because everyone loves stickers \u2013 even adults. I\u2019ve found my children love praise. The size of the praise doesn\u2019t really matter. Their little eyes light up when I tell them how good of a job they did or remind them that they are worthy.<\/p>\n

Your tone of voice, body language and expression are absorbed by your kids. So, I make it a conscious effort to remind my kids how great they are.<\/p>\n

I believe relationships work when an individual understands and appreciates their self-worth. If someone struggles with self-esteem, then I\u2019ve noticed their relationships also struggle. So, I build up my kids \u2013 this way they feel comfortable with who they are and who they will evolve to be. Thus, I reinforce my words with gold stars.<\/p>

\n
<\/div>\n\t
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n

Call Out Their Goodness<\/h2>\n

Remember the snap jar in Legally Blonde? Everyone thought Elle Woods was weird because she called out the goodness of others. But remember how good it made everyone feel? Everyone appreciates kind words.<\/p>\n

At no fault to their own, parents get caught up in the daily grind. It\u2019s common to identify the things your child is doing wrong \u2013 stop fighting with your sister\/brother, lower your voice, you need to share, clean up, etc.<\/p>\n

If your child constantly hears directives on how they are not acting appropriately, then they may think they\u2019re only good at messing up. Be proactive and call out your child\u2019s goodness. Some examples: \u201cGreat job reading that chapter.\u201d \u201cThank you for being patient with your sister\/brother.\u201d \u201cI really liked how thoughtful you were today.\u201d \u201cGood job following directions at school.\u201d
\nBe Consistent with Your Discipline<\/p>\n

Children thrive with structure. Think about it. This is why schools have schedules \u2013 even lower grade levels. If a child already knows what to expect, they can feel more at ease. Try to implement a consistent sense of discipline. For example, you are not going to yell at your child for forgetting to wash their hands or pick up their toys. And you\u2019re not going to ground them for something minor. However, setting a strong stage of expectations is important.<\/p>

\n
<\/div>\n\t
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
<\/div>\n\t
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n

Effectiveness also means you must do what you say. Instead of threatening to take away their screen time or ground them, you must carry through with the consequence. If your child doesn\u2019t believe that recourse is going to happen, then they\u2019ll continue to be disobedient.<\/p>\n

Be Present<\/h2>\n

Make time for your children. This can be challenging sometimes because of the daily responsibilities \u2013 baths, meals, prepping for sporting commitments, signing school papers, your career, cleaning, etc. Nevertheless, making time for each other should be a priority.<\/p>\n

There are several ways parents can do this. Make Friday movie + pizza night \u2013 no phones, no tablets, just quality family time. If you have an older child, allow them to stay up 15-20 minutes longer, and have one-on-one conversations without siblings. If you\u2019re going to the store, invite just one kid to join you and have that time together. If it\u2019s nice outside take a family walk or ride your bikes together. The quality time doesn\u2019t need to be super long and doesn\u2019t require a ton of money; however, those ordinary moments together will cultivate a long-lasting impression.<\/p>\n

Teach Your Child Communication<\/h2>\n

In David Thomas\u2019 book, Are My Kids on Track, he discusses emotional, social and spiritual milestones children need to reach. If you haven\u2019t already read this book, I highly recommend it. One of the biggest concepts he discusses is the importance of communication. When you take your child to the doctor, they track your child\u2019s physical and intellectual milestones. But they do not track the emotional side of things.<\/p>

\n
<\/div>\n\t
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n

As role models, we must track these landmarks for our children. Parents need to teach their children how to express their feelings in an appropriate way. Oftentimes, we\u2019ll ask our children, \u201cWhat happened?\u201d But we don\u2019t always ask them, \u201cHow did that make you feel?\u201d If our children can understand how to process their feelings and articulate what is going on inside, then they will be courageous, compassionate, resilient, empathetic and smarter.<\/p>\n

Be Flexible<\/h2>\n

Nothing in life goes exactly according to the plan. Therefore, it is crucial for parents to demonstrate a flexible and willingness nature of adjustment. As your child changes, your parenting rhythms and style should also change. It\u2019s important to understand that something that works with one child, may not worth with another because everyone is unique.<\/p>\n

Have an open mind and switch things up if they are not working \u2013 this doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re a failure. Lastly, communicate this flexible nature with your child. If they observe your openness, then they\u2019ll mirror that trait when they are experiencing a difficult situation.<\/p>\n

Ask for Help<\/h2>\n

I\u2019m not sure why asking for help feels like a negative action, but society portrays it that way. Whether it\u2019s a man asking for directions or a mom turning down a school volunteer assignment, society shames us for waving the white S.O.S. flag.<\/p>

\n
<\/div>\n\t
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
<\/div>\n\t
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n

Everyone has limitations. No one knows everything. If parents are willing to ask for help, they\u2019ll find that their children are receptive to do the same. Do not attach shame to help. If your child is struggling with a math lesson and you\u2019re unable to help them because math is not your gift, reach out to the teacher and discover tutoring options. If you\u2019ve had a stressful work week and need quiet time, ask your neighbor to watch the kids for a few hours \u2013 self-care is a necessity.<\/p>\n

Being an effective parent is a culmination of many things. Recognizing the array of tips and tactics is the first step.<\/p>\n

×<\/span><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Use these tips to help foster a happy, healthy and satisfying relationship with your child.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27,"featured_media":37872,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_oasis_is_in_workflow":0,"_oasis_original":0,"_oasis_task_priority":"","fbia_status":""},"categories":[626,28115],"tags":[34,7,18,352,889,9,1470,253,2188,1508,125,7971],"yoast_head":"\n7 Ways to Start Parenting More Effectively - FamilyToday<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"7 Ways to Start Parenting More Effectively\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Use these tips to help foster a happy, healthy and satisfying relationship with your child.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"FamilyToday\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-10-11T19:39:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2019-10-11T19:58:14+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2019\/10\/7-Ways-to-Start-Parenting-more-effectively_credit-shutterstock.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Rachel Dewing\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"BN Media, LLC\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/famtoday\"],\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#logo\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2020\/03\/bnmedia-logo-lg.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2020\/03\/bnmedia-logo-lg.png\",\"width\":1315,\"height\":311,\"caption\":\"BN Media, LLC\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#logo\"}},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/\",\"name\":\"FamilyToday\",\"description\":\"Here today, better tomorrow.\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#primaryimage\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2019\/10\/7-Ways-to-Start-Parenting-more-effectively_credit-shutterstock.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2019\/10\/7-Ways-to-Start-Parenting-more-effectively_credit-shutterstock.jpg\",\"width\":800,\"height\":600,\"caption\":\"Shutterstock.com\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/\",\"name\":\"7 Ways to Start Parenting More Effectively - FamilyToday\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2019-10-11T19:39:26+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2019-10-11T19:58:14+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"7 Ways to Start Parenting More Effectively\"}]},{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#webpage\"},\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#\/schema\/person\/e107ffe1cdaf5eed3b1856591428be2e\"},\"headline\":\"7 Ways to Start Parenting More Effectively\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-10-11T19:39:26+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2019-10-11T19:58:14+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#webpage\"},\"wordCount\":1180,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2019\/10\/7-Ways-to-Start-Parenting-more-effectively_credit-shutterstock.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"child\",\"children\",\"communication\",\"kids\",\"mom\",\"parenting\",\"parenting-tips\",\"parents\",\"raising kids\",\"read\",\"school\",\"teach\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Family\",\"Parenting\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#\/schema\/person\/e107ffe1cdaf5eed3b1856591428be2e\",\"name\":\"Rachel Dewing\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#personlogo\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0ccdf3c03ebddd4d94ce9ecbb144a21c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0ccdf3c03ebddd4d94ce9ecbb144a21c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Rachel Dewing\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/author\/rdewing\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"7 Ways to Start Parenting More Effectively - FamilyToday","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"7 Ways to Start Parenting More Effectively","og_description":"Use these tips to help foster a happy, healthy and satisfying relationship with your child.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/","og_site_name":"FamilyToday","article_published_time":"2019-10-11T19:39:26+00:00","article_modified_time":"2019-10-11T19:58:14+00:00","og_image":[{"width":800,"height":600,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2019\/10\/7-Ways-to-Start-Parenting-more-effectively_credit-shutterstock.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Rachel Dewing","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#organization","name":"BN Media, LLC","url":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/","sameAs":["https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/famtoday"],"logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#logo","inLanguage":"en-US","url":"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2020\/03\/bnmedia-logo-lg.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2020\/03\/bnmedia-logo-lg.png","width":1315,"height":311,"caption":"BN Media, LLC"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#logo"}},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/","name":"FamilyToday","description":"Here today, better tomorrow.","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#primaryimage","inLanguage":"en-US","url":"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2019\/10\/7-Ways-to-Start-Parenting-more-effectively_credit-shutterstock.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2019\/10\/7-Ways-to-Start-Parenting-more-effectively_credit-shutterstock.jpg","width":800,"height":600,"caption":"Shutterstock.com"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#webpage","url":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/","name":"7 Ways to Start Parenting More Effectively - FamilyToday","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#primaryimage"},"datePublished":"2019-10-11T19:39:26+00:00","dateModified":"2019-10-11T19:58:14+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"7 Ways to Start Parenting More Effectively"}]},{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#webpage"},"author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#\/schema\/person\/e107ffe1cdaf5eed3b1856591428be2e"},"headline":"7 Ways to Start Parenting More Effectively","datePublished":"2019-10-11T19:39:26+00:00","dateModified":"2019-10-11T19:58:14+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#webpage"},"wordCount":1180,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2019\/10\/7-Ways-to-Start-Parenting-more-effectively_credit-shutterstock.jpg","keywords":["child","children","communication","kids","mom","parenting","parenting-tips","parents","raising kids","read","school","teach"],"articleSection":["Family","Parenting"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#\/schema\/person\/e107ffe1cdaf5eed3b1856591428be2e","name":"Rachel Dewing","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#personlogo","inLanguage":"en-US","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0ccdf3c03ebddd4d94ce9ecbb144a21c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0ccdf3c03ebddd4d94ce9ecbb144a21c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Rachel Dewing"},"url":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/author\/rdewing\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37857"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/27"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37857"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37857\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37902,"href":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37857\/revisions\/37902"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/37872"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37857"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37857"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37857"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}