The month long murder trial ended and life continued on as normal, except for me. The healing, I thought was going to come once the sentence was given, was still nowhere to be seen.<\/p>\n
Early one morning, I dropped my four big kids off at school and headed to the grocery store. As I drove, tears fell down my face and the cloud of gloom steadily grew worse.<\/p>\n
I said a small prayer as I turned off the ignition: \"Heavenly Father. I waited for almost two years for this trial to make me feel whole, but nothing inside of me has ever felt more broken. I don't know who I am-who I am supposed to be now. I need help. I can't do this<\/em>. Please send me someone-someone to help me feel whole.\"<\/em><\/p> I wiped my tears, got the kids out of the car, and headed into the store. In my fog, we wandered the aisles without much order.<\/p>\n Soon, we were in the bulk food section. I brushed past a woman. I got a distinct impression to stop and help her. I brushed the thought aside and headed to the other end of the store.<\/p>\n Minutes later, the nagging feeling again came over me and ushered me to go back and offer the woman some financial assistance. I thought: let's go over what I just said in the car. I can't even figure out how to handle my own life. I am broken. How on earth am I supposed to help someone else?<\/em><\/p>\n But soon I found myself walking past her again. In a panic, I veered my cart down the baking aisle.<\/p>\n I silently prayed: \"Heavenly Father, I have enough on my own plate. I can't possibly help someone else today.\" Instantly, my once clouded mind became full of a very clear plan: get into your wallet and give her the money.<\/p> In humility, I stopped the cart. I was sure there was no money inside my wallet, as I rarely had cash. I opened my wallet, in a zipper I hardly ever used, I found a one hundred dollar bill. Tears filled my eyes as I stared down at the money in my hand. I squeezed it in my grip and slowly pushed my cart toward the back of the store.<\/p>\n There she was. I grabbed her arm. She turned toward me. I choked out my words, \"I know you have no idea who I am. I don't know why I am doing this. I hope I do not offend you in anyway, but I just need to give you this.\"<\/p>\n I opened my sweaty palm to reveal the money. She looked down and burst into tears. She sobbed, \"How did you know? I have been standing here, trying to figure out how to pay for all these groceries. I have $12.00 in my bank account. How did you know I needed someone to help me? You are an angel for me today.\"<\/p>\n She threw her arms around me and continued to thank me as we embraced. My heart was so full I could feel Heaven surround us. We held each other and sobbed together. Again she asked how I knew.<\/p>\n\n I said, \"Have you ever had one of those moments where God asked you to do something, and you almost thought He was crazy? The last twenty minutes I have been fighting the feeling to help you. But I couldn't walk away. I do know this: his love for you was stronger than my pride. You are loved, and today, I think He needed you to know that.\"<\/p> She hugged me again, and we said goodbye.<\/p>\n I will probably never know her name. I have no idea what her story is. But that day, when I begged Heavenly Father to send someone to help me, He did.<\/p>\n Maybe I thought I needed an angel that day, but being one brought me closer to heaven than I had ever been. Maybe I was an answer to her prayer, I will never know for sure, but she was the answer to mine.<\/p>\n This article was originally published on The Moments We Stand<\/a>. It has been republished here with permission.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>