{"id":18059,"date":"2015-01-09T15:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-01-09T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.famifi.com\/oc\/i-promised-to-never-be-like-my-dad\/"},"modified":"2015-01-09T15:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-01-09T15:00:00","slug":"i-promised-to-never-be-like-my-dad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/i-promised-to-never-be-like-my-dad\/","title":{"rendered":"I promised to never be like my dad"},"content":{"rendered":"

Editor's note: This article was originally published on Ben Arkell's blog<\/a>. It has been republished here with permission.<\/em><\/p>\n

We all have our struggles in this life. Sometimes it's easy to recognize the weaknesses of others and not see the good. That's how I was. Especially when I was young. Especially when it came to my dad<\/a>. More than once I promised never to be like him.<\/p>

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I grew up with great friends who all had great dads. It seemed to me that the relationships they had with their fathers were a step above the one I had with mine. There were some things my dad did that made me upset - add to that the fact that he was always too tired to shoot hoops, and it made for a bad combination when trying to build a solid relationship with a teenage son.<\/p>\n

I remember being very hard on my dad. I can still hear the words from my father ringing in my ears: \"I know I'm a horrible father.\" He said it on more than one occasion, and it usually stemmed from me complaining about something he did.<\/p>\n

Now that I'm a father I look back on his weaknesses a lot differently. In fact, it's a lot easier to be more understanding. What's hard to swallow is that the great things he did I'm just starting to notice, and now that he's gone, I can't properly give him the credit he's due.<\/p>\n

One night my boys were asking me for a story. So I told them of the day my dad bought me a BRAND NEW pair of basketball sneakers. They were white high tops with black stripes on them and I swear they made me jump two feet higher. They cost $80, which in today's world would equate to $120. The first night I wore them I took great care to only have them on when I was in the gym. Once the pickup game ended, I changed into some other shoes and walked to the car, placed my new sneaks on the roof of the car, and fiddled with the keys to open the car door. I was basking in the joy of another great performance on the court, with these amazing new sneakers.<\/p>

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As I drove home, imagining the lucrative NBA deal that was sure to be part of my future, I realized I had never taken my sneakers off the roof of the car. I quickly pulled over, jumped out of the car, and my heart sunk as it hit me that my new prized possession, the key to NBA glory, my beautiful, expensive sneakers - were GONE. I drove back to the gym, trying to find them, but in the darkness of the late hour there was no hope. I had lost my sneakers on the very day they were given to me.<\/p>\n

As I was telling my boys this story, I remembered something amazing. When I had gone home to tell my dad what happened, I don't remember his reaction. That's the fascinating part to me. I know that if he had flown off the handle and gotten angry, I would have remembered. But my only memory is this - the next day after searching for the sneakers on his way to work without any luck, he came home with a newly purchased pair of the same $80 sneakers.<\/p>\n

After I finished telling my boys this story, I thought of a moment earlier in the day when I lost my temper and raised my voice at my boy for spilling his milk. I remembered the way I overreacted earlier that week when one of their bikes scraped up against the side of our new van. I thought of all the small and insignificant things that my kids do and how I never seem to be able to let it go without belittling them. It was then I realized that my promise from years earlier was coming true in a much different fashion than I had expected - I realized that I never would be like my dad. The greatest attributes of my father were the ones that, as a child, I could not see.<\/p>\n

Dad, wherever you are, and as shallow as this apology and statement is, please know that one day I hope to be the man you were. I'm sure you are looking down with empathy and a smile. Your wings are well deserved. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it.<\/p>\n

×<\/span><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It can be hard to see the good in a person, even when that person is your dad.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":18060,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_oasis_is_in_workflow":0,"_oasis_original":0,"_oasis_task_priority":"","fbia_status":""},"categories":[626],"tags":[1241,13,818,5359,3],"yoast_head":"\nI promised to never be like my dad - FamilyToday<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/i-promised-to-never-be-like-my-dad\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I promised to never be like my dad\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It can be hard to see the good in a person, even when that person is your dad.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/i-promised-to-never-be-like-my-dad\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"FamilyToday\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-01-09T15:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2015\/01\/featuredImageId18059.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1000\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"667\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"BN Media, LLC\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/famtoday\"],\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#logo\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2020\/03\/bnmedia-logo-lg.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2020\/03\/bnmedia-logo-lg.png\",\"width\":1315,\"height\":311,\"caption\":\"BN Media, LLC\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#logo\"}},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/\",\"name\":\"FamilyToday\",\"description\":\"Here today, better tomorrow.\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/i-promised-to-never-be-like-my-dad\/#primaryimage\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2015\/01\/featuredImageId18059.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/wp-media.familytoday.com\/2015\/01\/featuredImageId18059.jpg\",\"width\":1000,\"height\":667},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/i-promised-to-never-be-like-my-dad\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.familytoday.com\/family\/i-promised-to-never-be-like-my-dad\/\",\"name\":\"I promised to never be like my dad - 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